I am feeling dejected right now. Because today, something might have gone wrong. Or maybe, it’s not only today… it’s everyday. Maybe it is because of my behavior, or my way of thinking…, but I know for sure that I might have offended someone. that someone is my supervisor.
So, you see, before you can register for UT exam, I need to have the approval of my supervisor as well as the head of department in the form of sign. So, after I rushed to print my UT yesterday night, I went to him, seeking his approval. And he found that I wrote his name wrong. I forgot his title.
… huh? I was pretty sure that I have written his title right. Because I copied down his name and title from academic guidance book 2013/2014. Well, yeah, it’s outdated seeing that now is 2014/2015 period, but I didn’t know that his name was then changed too.
Then I remembered, of course, that he has just been graduated from his doctoral study. So, his title is Dr.!
He pointed to the door: “There’s my name on it. Why don’t you see it?”
Damnit! I never really care about something like that. But I know that’s my fault. I should have seen it! I’ve been going in there whenever I asked for guidance.
The look of hurt and suppressed anger is in his face. And I got the impression that he lost me: he doesn’t want to get involve with me any longer.
I am afraid. tired. and miserable. And then, from there, everything turns worse. my mind plays trick on me again.
It’s just me and my personality. I actually like to be as polite as possible. But maybe I don’t really know how it is to be ‘polite’. And then, in the end, I hurt others because of my ‘rudeness’… And I know somewhere in me is afraid to get involve with people. I never really mingle with others well…
…So, I am waiting for tomorrow to know when will I be examinated, and by whom… but I no longer excited to know. Not when I know I might have made him an enemy because of my ignorance.
Ah well… I really want to forget about today. So, I might as well post other things right? This is such a frustrating story, I don’t like it.